New Kids on the Blog
Attention please! I would like to take a minute and introduce the new kids on the blog.
Math is Sexy has been leading a double life by cleverly posting as “the Ex-Roomie.” She and I both shared the same residence for two years before she moved to obtain a masters in Mathematics down in Arkansas. She was also my boss for the telecounciling sessions on campus. Yes, hundreds of incoming freshman know me by my voice. Fear me.
Collective Hunch has been a friend since the tinsel tooth and zit filled days of middle school. She is also one of the last remaining few that I still talk to from that era. She too understands the hardships of calling random people for the university. Welcome to Nerdland T! It is awesome to have you here.
So as a tribute to you both, I give you the log of all the humorous comments made by the telecounciling workers during my time there. Enjoy!
Why Telecounciling is the BOMB-DIGGITY:
Mike: "You gotta remember man, you're 21 and the girls you are calling are 15, 16, or 17 years old...."
Kris: "....Yeah, and one day they'll be 18."
Mike: "[E], can you fix my computer? It's being a big homo."
Erin: "As opposed to a little homo or big straight guy?"
Kris: "Her name is Susanne Sneed? 'Hey Susanne you need to come to Rolla so you can change that last name...'"
Robert: (to [E]) "If you don't do what he says, he'll sexually harrass you..."
Kris: "No, no, it's a consensual relationship. I'm an asshole and she likes it..."
Kris: “If kids were better than sex, I’d have more of them; however, they’re not...so I want the sex.”
Kris: “If anyone had sex with my sister I’d shove his dick so far down his throat so he’d have to piss from his ass.”
Kris: “If I spent my life peddling cock, I wouldn’t be too enthusiastic about my job either...” (in reference to chicken farming)
Mike: (in reference to sororities) “No, there is no way I would want to live with eighty something girls and put up with their crap all day…”
Kris: “Is Sierra there? Or should I just ask for Mist?”
Mike: (in reference to growing up) “I’m gonna’ be three years old all my life.”
Robert: “That’s not really going to help you in the sack...”
Mike: “Kris spells it K-r-i-s, like a woman, which means he has no genitalia.”
[E]: “Okay, we aren’t going to talk about Kris’s genitalia without him here to defend them...”
Kris: “That mom didn’t even know how to spell her daughter’s name – she had to ask her other daughter to spell it for her.”
Robert: “Did she correct your pronunciation of it?”
Kris: “Yeah, she did and she can’t even spell it. If you can’t spell your kid’s name, I can call her whatever I want...”
Math is Sexy has been leading a double life by cleverly posting as “the Ex-Roomie.” She and I both shared the same residence for two years before she moved to obtain a masters in Mathematics down in Arkansas. She was also my boss for the telecounciling sessions on campus. Yes, hundreds of incoming freshman know me by my voice. Fear me.
Collective Hunch has been a friend since the tinsel tooth and zit filled days of middle school. She is also one of the last remaining few that I still talk to from that era. She too understands the hardships of calling random people for the university. Welcome to Nerdland T! It is awesome to have you here.
So as a tribute to you both, I give you the log of all the humorous comments made by the telecounciling workers during my time there. Enjoy!
Why Telecounciling is the BOMB-DIGGITY:
Mike: "You gotta remember man, you're 21 and the girls you are calling are 15, 16, or 17 years old...."
Kris: "....Yeah, and one day they'll be 18."
Mike: "[E], can you fix my computer? It's being a big homo."
Erin: "As opposed to a little homo or big straight guy?"
Kris: "Her name is Susanne Sneed? 'Hey Susanne you need to come to Rolla so you can change that last name...'"
Robert: (to [E]) "If you don't do what he says, he'll sexually harrass you..."
Kris: "No, no, it's a consensual relationship. I'm an asshole and she likes it..."
Kris: “If kids were better than sex, I’d have more of them; however, they’re not...so I want the sex.”
Kris: “If anyone had sex with my sister I’d shove his dick so far down his throat so he’d have to piss from his ass.”
Kris: “If I spent my life peddling cock, I wouldn’t be too enthusiastic about my job either...” (in reference to chicken farming)
Mike: (in reference to sororities) “No, there is no way I would want to live with eighty something girls and put up with their crap all day…”
Kris: “Is Sierra there? Or should I just ask for Mist?”
Mike: (in reference to growing up) “I’m gonna’ be three years old all my life.”
Robert: “That’s not really going to help you in the sack...”
Mike: “Kris spells it K-r-i-s, like a woman, which means he has no genitalia.”
[E]: “Okay, we aren’t going to talk about Kris’s genitalia without him here to defend them...”
Kris: “That mom didn’t even know how to spell her daughter’s name – she had to ask her other daughter to spell it for her.”
Robert: “Did she correct your pronunciation of it?”
Kris: “Yeah, she did and she can’t even spell it. If you can’t spell your kid’s name, I can call her whatever I want...”
Comments
If you enjoyed R's telecounciling quotes, take a look at my posting "Other Ways to Say Disconnected"
...and he's not kidding with that "tinsel teeth" comment -- I have a picture somewhere...