Dealing

***Warning: This entry is kinda depressing. I'm not even sure I want to post it since it's not very representative of what I usually sound like. But for some reason this is what came out tonight. Please be kind with your posts.***

I've been feeling very depressed lately. I'm not sure what's going on. Maybe it is the constant stress of not having enough money. I'm throwing all the money I can afford at bills and school loans, but it's taking a long time to see a difference. That and it makes eating much harder since I don't have enough money for two weeks worth of food and gas. I'm determined to make it on my own and I've convinced myself that I can do it without help -- and I've been doing really well about paying all my bills on time. Unfortunately I didn't notice that the due date on one credit card was the 27th -- and I've auto-payed it on the 1st for the last two months. I finally caught my mistake when my interest rate spiked. Gotta love Credit Cards. See my previous entry for info on all of that. I'll have this one paid completely in November -- it's just going to be a bit tighter until then. But hey! At least I'm on my way to working out of debt.

One reason I really wish I had more money is so I could join the gym up the street from my work. I scouted local gyms to see what kind of prices they charge. The one I was signed up for before charges $30 per month for the company facility on campus. It's also out of my way when I go home -- making it even less appealing. I tried the one in the apartment complex last night and found that they only have barbells to use -- and they start at weights I can't do a single bicep curl with. Not so good. There is one gym on the way to my house right up the street from work, but the initiation fee is $37 dollars for three months and then it comes down to $17 per month after that. Unfortunately this deal is also part of their "The Biggest Loser" promotion and won't apply after October 18th. After that the initiation fee goes much higher. I'm trying to pay off two of my smaller credit cards as fast as I can so I can have enough spending cash to afford it. I've been thinking about possibly cancelling my Netflix account for a while to help make up the difference. We shall see.

The other question is, will I be able to motivate myself enough to use it? And I'm 98% the answer is "Yes." One of my biggest problems is that I don't know how to workout properly. I get very sore and I'm not even sure I'm doing the weight lifting properly. It's pretty embarrassing having to ask for help to bench press the same weight most guys warm up with. The gym I'm looking at offered to look at my program and excercises and help me get started again free of charge. It's really hard to say no to a deal like that. I just want to feel better about myself and not feel like I'm a walking toothpick. I've got a while to think things through and see if I can get everything in order to afford it. Argh. I hate credit cards. I'm going to be so very happy when I have two fully paid off in November. Then out come the scissors! Bwah ha ha!

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